Versione italiana qui
Yeah. Sort of.
But it’s out! Out and about! No, just out for the moment, as for the about we will see.
Well, it’s been a serious nuisance. Not writing it, publishing it. Read through all the instructions, make sure you’re doing everything properly, check the copyright page, format the document the way it has to be done, create a cover.
The cover was one of the worst things. I tried to draw it myself first, in a childish style, but instead of childish it just looked horrible and overall creepy. I could have been okay with the creepy part, it was the association with awfulness which didn’t satisfy me.
So then I decided to modify a picture. I asked to one of my best friends, a keen reader, what he thought of it, and he said it looked like one of those old books published in the 80’s that you always see on the stand of the secondhand market at the seaside but that you never buy. In other words, it was kitsch. Well I do kitsch quite a lot xD I wondered if maybe he meant kitsch like the video of one of the best songs, and particularly love songs, ever:
The ringing of your laaaughter it sooounds like a mmmelody!
No, probably not. So I tried to make it look a little less kitsch for the benefit of potential readers’ eyes.
The result is this one.
I have seen better covers in my life. Yes, I know you have too. That’s a closet, by the way. As the title says, in Italian: The closet. The friend told me it doesn’t look like a closet. Too wavy, he says. Too kitsch, he says. Well, listen here: I’m not a graphic designer neither a painter or an illustrator, and to realize that cover it took already way too much time, so I’m not making to make it again not even if you pay me. Well maybe if you pay me yes, but you have to pay me a lot.
Doing all the pernickety job to get this publication done, as I was saying, was nasty. I’m really tired right now but I just have to finish. When I was almost done I noticed that the size I had chosen could be shipped only from the US, meaning more shipping costs for those not buying from there. So change the size and format the pages. Again! Stupid things, but they take a lot of time. And patience.
Particular attention had to be paid to not read around through the pages while I was checking the formatting. I really hate to read what I have written and consider as complete. I always think “mh, you know I could actually write this part better”, “mh, this could be changed”, “mh, what is this sh…”
No! I have written the most beautiful book of all times, it’s absolutely fantastic, brilliant, it’s going to go down in history, become a classic, so you have to go and buy now and read it and then you’ll be one of the few people to have the first edition and you will be able to sell it and become rich. So go, now, chop chop.
Pricing required a good deal of thinking. I had to balance between setting a fair one, low and appropriate to what I have written, the experience I have and so on, and trying to actually make something out of it. I mean, some money. Not that I have big hopes regarding that part, but still, even the smallest hopes are the last ones to die xD So I consulted again the nice friend of the cover, or more correctly I have busted his balls repeatedly asking what price, in Italy – since the book is in Italian – he would deem fit for the first book of Mr Fucking No-one with the most megalomaniac name possible. Sometimes I wonder Stardust, of all pen names you could choose, did you have to pick this one?
Yes, yes I had. If you have to be a megalomaniac, do it properly.
So a lot of ball busting until I’ve decided for the two prices I’ve set, one for the eBook and the other for the printed version. I might change them again in the future, that’s one of the things I deem mostly variable, but still I want my books and generally the stuff I produce to be accessible to people. I think everyone should be able to access to art and culture.
For you non-Italian readers, I beg your pardon about the English version not being out yet! I’ll provide to begin to translate it right away (but NOT tomorrow)! I don’t think I can aspire to sound like a mother tongue, of which I’m really sorry, but I’ll do my best, promise. I think I’m a rather quick translator, so it shouldn’t take too long. As the infamous cover xD
So yes… maybe I should write also what all the fuss is about: The closet, or L’armadio, is fundamentally a horror/psychological book. It’s the perfect family, the glory of normality. Even Vittorio, the classical misfit teenager, is according to plan: every teenager has his moments of defiance, right? But monsters often come when you least expect them. They wait for years and years, awaiting the right moment. And the right people.
Go and check the preview if you’re interested, and maybe buy it!
Oh gosh, I have a sudden sympathy for artists of all sorts, for daring to throw their stuff out in the world. Anxious xD