Forced parenthood

Italian translation here.

Today there’s another post on humans’ gender issues (and it is that awful thing I would have liked to write about the last time). I know I write a lot about it, and I’ll keep doing so: it’s one of the most important subjects to me, as it’s also one of the biggest differences between your species and mine. Simply, we don’t have a gender issue: no discrimination, no segregation, no taboos, no unnecessary complications.
And among all the things related to it which make my skin crawl there is what I call “forced parenthood”, and in particular how this, in the western countries, has become a form of sexism against male humans (not in all cases, maybe. But I suppose in quite a good number). Or, at least, I believe it has become so: I have no data to validate my thesis; I judge on the base of what I can observe and on the humans’ opinions I can collect. By the way: yes, sexism goes both ways and therefore both males and females would profit from its destruction. But you are too stupid to improve your lives, aren’t you?

So, in a banal way I call forced parenthood the act of giving a biological offspring which the parent doesn’t want. A theft of genes, in other words. It’s a fairly common act among humans. Sometimes it’s just bad luck: a broken condom, pill which doesn’t work. Shit happens, and a lot of countries add shit to the shit by forbidding abortion. Other times, it’s caused by an act of violence, usually directed from the male human towards the female; that is, rape. Which is of course awful. But in other cases, I think it’s the female which “steals” the genes of the male and then gives birth to the (unwanted) child. The reason because of which I say so it’s that I noticed this unsettling trend: among western people it’s considered quite common and acceptable that the female somehow gets pregnant, without it being planned, and decides to keep and develop the little worm in her belly against the will of the owner of 50% of the genes present in the little worm in question. I don’t think I’m hallucinating (… not about this matter, in any case), as I find this idea pretty often in normal conversations, films, books; I also read this terrifying article, http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2006/apr/28/malepillwomensloss, which says (among tons of other bullshit) that the male contraceptive pill shouldn’t be developed because that would hinder the females from “forgetting” their own pill and, ups, getting pregnant. Now, you don’t need to be so idiot and malevolent to conceive the idea, which I believe, if you pay some attention to it, you will find pretty widespread. The female forgets the pill, or by mistake gets pregnant and says nothing to the future father until it’s too late or just decides that no matter what she’ll have the child, and voilà, you get the sprog (obviously enough, I’m not referring to those cases where abortion is not allowed).
And why is it quite accepted? Oh, but because females have the maternal instinct and the desire of breed and grow and care for babies, what a question! Males wouldn’t think about procreation even if they were the last ones on Earth; if you hand them a baby they will probably take if for the foot and look at it upside down, wondering what its use is.
And if the male at the news that he’s about to get an unplanned and unwanted child gets a fucking heart attack and runs for his life, he’s an asshole. He is supposed to stay and care for the female and the sprog, even if being a male and therefore lacking in caring instinct he would just carry the little thing for the foot, and who cares if he feels awful about it.

Well, no. Shit, if someone took from me a child against my will I would indeed run to the end of the world, no, to the end of the Universe. I get sick just thinking about it, it’s just awful; I really couldn’t bear it. A child! Another living creature, a fellow being, an independent person, which will grow and develop and be part of my life forever, without counting all the dedication and effort and cost in time and energy (and money) that it will bring. All this, without me wanting it. No. Just no, no way. I would have the impulse of throwing the little thing out of the window, probably. Apart from the fact that from me only monsters can be born, and you really don’t want to see how they look like. I mean, you really don’t. And I don’t, either.
Anyway. What was I saying? Oh, right. And even if the male human behaves according to society as an asshole and runs away, even if he decides to not recognize the baby, if he is a decent human the thought of the child left behind him will probably haunt him, I suppose. You know that somewhere there is a child, a little human born from a person whom maybe you loved or whom at least you found attractive, which will be growing without a father, because you ran away. It’s certainly not a good thought. I would feel bad if I had it.

I don’t believe that what is inside the womb of a female human is her and only her business. I believe that, if one of the two doesn’t want the future child – provided that the intercourse was consensual, if it wasn’t the rapist shouldn’t have a say in absolutely anything – the pregnancy should be interrupted (maybe within a certain period from the start), simply because the future child wouldn’t belong only to the female. And neither only to the male. If there were a proposal on a law about it, to impede the birth of the offspring in case one of the two (previously consenting) parents opposed to it, I think I would support it. I really don’t think an abortion is a tragedy, it looks like a very normal and non-dramatic thing to me if there’s no danger for the female, and it’s not about taking the child away from the female, or the male, in case he wants it and she doesn’t: there is no child yet. There is nothing to miss, it hasn’t been born; their lives would proceed exactly as before because they would be basically unchanged. No child before, no child after; simple as that. Where’s the drama? Their lives would change indeed instead if the child were born: as I already said, a little sprog is revolution, positive or negative it depends on the case, but still a revolution. And a notable one, I’d dare say.

With all this, I don’t want to despise all the female humans who, because of constrictions imposed by society, of violence, of bad luck, are compelled to grow a child by themselves. It’s awful, of course it is, and I don’t think there’s need to specify that I’m against it, but you know, humans are a bit slow on the uptake. But the case I speak about it’s different, I think it’s quite common and it gives me the creeps.

And by the way. Humans, couldn’t you just fucking talk to each other? Like, with your partner, about whether you want to have a child or not, for example? Just saying; it might be an interesting conversation, what do you think? I’m aware that your linguistic skills are not developed as they should – sometimes when I speak to one of your sort I’m like “are we speaking the same language or am I speaking alienish without noticing it?” – but I believe in you, you can do it, come on. And what about considering the other as a whole person, and respecting him/her/it, and keeping his/her/its feelings into consideration, and being clear about quite important things which concern both of you, like for example bringing another brand new human in this world (what a bad idea)? It doesn’t look so complicated to me.

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